The below writing is not written by me.
She expresses a different perspective of the same process, useful to the eager student.
First, I’d want her to learn about me. I’d want her to understand intimately how I work, my emotional signals, my likes and dislikes, how to understand me and approach me. Both for her security and certainty in her actions, and for my satisfaction.
Second, I’d want her to learn about herself. The unique skills she has to offer me, the ways in which she uniquely can be of service, including the ways in which her personality is unique, and thus the unique brand of conversation and stimulation she can provide. I think … it’s easy to undervalue oneself as not having particular things to offer while forgetting that one’s unique personality is so individual that if it has been polished and made to be pleasing, the personality itself can be highly valuable.
Third I would consider ways in which she could easily please me, so she feels that she is succeeding and bonding with me. I’d consider her strengths and weaknesses and also my own personal likes and interest, but primarily, I would want her to feel like she is succeeding to create a feeling of usefulnesses and bonding between us. Create something strong and easy so she can see easily the ways in which we are compatible and the ways she is useful to me.
Fourth would be challenging her to learn things not so natural to her, so that while she may struggle and be weak, I could point out to her that she has succeeded in the past, remind her that these are not her natural strengths and they will take longer for her to learn, and the bond between us will have already been established from easier activities, so the support and strength is there for her to learn these more difficult things for her.
So, we would both learn about me, then we would both learn about her, then with that knowledge I would teach her ways she could easily serve me, then I would teach her ways she would find more difficult in which to serve me.